Restless

My restlessness got the better of me this evening and I finally gave in and took a walk. It was about 8:30 when I left, so it was dark and cold outside, which was exactly the way that I wanted it. I am guessing that it was about 15 degrees outside and the sky was clear with only a sliver of the moon, and a handful of the brighter constellations. The moment I stepped outside I could smell the strong scent of wood smoke on the crisp air which pleased me because it reminded me of Alaska, the place I love, though not as genuine. At home when I go outside on this kind of night there is pure silence. The world is cloaked in a heavy blanket of snow and its just me and eternity. The crunch of my own footsteps in the snow is all I can hear and it is then that I can feel most, the presence of a great and glorious being. Though I am a solitary person in the vast wilderness of Alaska I know that I am not alone. This is one of those moments that I enjoy experiencing over and over again. I typically prefer warmer weather but I do enjoy the cold at these times; when the air nips at your cheeks and the cold creates a feeling of refreshment and energy. Because I am not in Alaska right now I didn’t quite get the full effect of the serenity that I was seeking. There were buildings all around me, the headlights of vehicles staring me down, and people coming and going, causing silence to retreat.
During the course of my walk I wanted the chance to think, ponder, and contemplate. It was one of those moments where the core of me wanted enlightenment but I did not know how to seek it, or for what I was searching. My mind seemed to veer away from any deep thought but I was still able to enjoy a peaceful walk in the night. I was able to refresh myself physically and ease my restlessness to an extent, though I still feel a drive to discover.