A Look At Me

Now that it has been an entire year since my last blog post, I guess now would be a good time to update what seems to be my annual blog. First, I apologize for my neglect in the writing area. Over the last year I have had many good blogging ideas and even life updates that I should have posted but I seem to have a problem with organizing my ideas on paper (so to speak). So instead of sitting down and organizing my thoughts I tend to just let the idea pass away and leave my blog sitting idle. Now that school has started again I also feel extremely guilty sitting down and using my time to write for my own enjoyment rather than madly studying and preparing for upcoming assignments and exams. In fact I was studying for an upcoming test when I decided to take a break and do a quick browse of my five regular internet websites that create a ten minute distraction. One of them was the Shadow Snatcher blog where after reading the latest post on the blog I discovered that I had been tagged! I won’t describe that in more detail, assuming that any regular internet user is well acquainted with all the different types of tagging that is involved. In short I have to answer a list of questions. I decided this would be a good extended distraction from homework as well as an easy solution for a much overdue blog post.

1. What was the most dramatic moment in your life? I don’t know how I feel about starting out with such a difficult question. Coming up with an answer is difficult enough, but also deciding what falls under the definition of dramatic is going to take some serious thought. Probably getting my body cut open and I giant tumor removed. There, I made it sound dramatic, although it really wasn’t.

2. What do you hope to be doing in five years? Oh what could come in five years? That is such an exciting question to try and answer. Mostly because being graduated from college is what I look forward to the most right now. The crazy thing is that if all goes well I should be graduating in April!!! Currently I have no plans after graduation. When asked, I tell people that after graduation I will just enjoy the feeling of freedom for about six weeks and after my sixth week the panic will suddenly set in that I don’t know what to do next…and I will scramble from there. Honestly, in five years I hope to be married and focusing on a family. Wisdom tells me this is not really a goal I can plan on achieving (other than preparing myself), so I resign myself to fate in that respect. Otherwise I have a quaint little image of myself going somewhere completely new and maybe a little random, Kentucky or somewhere, and getting a small apartment and a job and just living. The idea of living alone really appeals to me. That may be a natural consequence of living with 25 different people in the last couple of years. (This includes my family and a whole slew of roommates). I might get a dog or cat and just enjoy living a quiet and routine life. I also would like to focus on long neglected hobbies and talents. I would love to take voice lessons and piano lessons!!!

3. Would you ever consider adoption? Why or why not? I definitely would consider adoption! I come from a home where my parents would never hesitate to help those in need, often inviting them into our home indefinitely. I have one adopted sister and we are currently in the process of adopting four more children into our family. Adoption is a wonderful thing! It gives children the opportunity to have a good home and family they belong to. I want to be a source of love that a child in need can turn to. I want to give them the chance to be loved and have a good home they may not have otherwise been able to have.

4. How has your life been different than you thought it would be? When I graduated from high school I really had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. College didn’t particularly appeal to me, but college is what you do after high school, so I went. It has been a life where it plays out as I go. I never had any set plans and yet things have gone well for me. I NEVER expected to come to BYU. This is a very positive unexpected life event that worked in my favor. I still marvel that I am here and almost graduated.

5. What leftovers are in your fridge right now? Leftovers? This is a sad question. My fridge is pretty bare. The only leftover I currently have is Macaroni Salad. It is a good left over for about the first two days (sadly this is day four) and it is getting kind of soggy and bland. Sound appealing?

6. Have you ever had a supernatural experience? Descibe it, please. Umm, no not really. Since this is a cop-out answer I will try to make up for it. There was one night in late fall when I was outside walking home to my house. We had a pit dug off of the porch. It was probably about six feet deep and maybe ten feet across, I was almost to the porch and was walking by the pit when I heard a long low growl. It was very eerie and I am sure it came from the pit. I forced myself not to panic and walked to the door. Light was shining out from the porch windows and I looked into the pit but I could see nothing. As I went to the door our young lab puppy had been sitting outside the front door and came running to me. I had tried to tell myself he had made the growling noise but when I saw him I knew there was no way that sound had come out of that tiny puppy. He didn’t seem extremely happy, I think he was cold, but he also did not act scared or excited about anything. I went and got a flashlight and shined it in the pit but I never saw an animal. The interesting thing is that there were two other members of my family that encountered “the growl” at different times on different areas of our property. Maybe it was only a wild animal (I can’t imagine what kind), or maybe it was something closer to the supernatural. I don’t know.

7. What is the most daredevilish thing you have ever done? Cop-out answer--I am not much of a daredevil. Honestly I cannot think of anything! I am adventurous but I have always been one that prefers safety to stupidity. I am not saying that being a daredevil is stupid, though they often seem to coincide. I have gone rockclimbing. Does that count?

8. How many fingers am I holding up? What??? This is a cop-out question!!!! I would say three unless this is a trick question and the questioner is holding up a child then it would be between 10 and 20…how am I supposed to answer this?

Football Blues

I attended my very first football game ever. It was an exciting experience. It was BYU’s first home game of the season and, though it ended up an extremely disappointing game, in which I witnessed our team get slaughtered by Florida State, it will be an unforgettable memory…or more like a wound that won’t heal.
Before I pour on too much salt, I should explain that my goal in writing this, is not to focus on the technicalities of our loss or the reasons behind it so much as to discuss the effect of the loss on the BYU fans.
My Saturday evening started out with my brother and I both decked out in our BYU blue t-shirts to show our true blue support of BYU, and throwing a football back and forth in our pre-game warm up at my apartment complex. I must say I did fairly well for myself throwing fairly accurate and consistent and catching most of the throws that my brother sent my way. This lasted long enough for my throwing arm to become extremely numb and pained to the point of it dangling uselessly at my side (not too much different from Harry Potters experience, except that I still had my bones) at which time we decided we better head on up to the stadium.
We collected our sister and joined the massive sea of blue that was migrating toward our destination. From this experience I have now learned the accepted pedestrian etiquette of football game days. Meaning that red, green and yellow lights are all good and useful most of the time but suddenly don’t have much of an effect if the color blue is expansive enough. We came to a three way intersection, our first street crossing of the trek, and waited until signaled by the little white man, and the chirping bird that it was safe to cross. The mass started to move, and once started could not stop. Long gone were the little white man, the chirping bird, and even the red flashing hand, yet blue still clogged the intersection. It didn’t just fill in between the white painted crosswalk, it covered the entire intersection, people had long ago given up on the designated path and cut straight through the center of traffic. I think it took about 41 seconds off the time it took me to reach the stadium.
We filed down to our second row seats on the left corner of the end zone…amazing seats!! The pre-game hype was thick. The marching band entered the field along with the ROTC amidst happy cheers. Cosmo our beloved mascot entered decked out in his football uniform giving high-fives and thumbs up to the front row fans. The cheerleaders were already stationed at the sidelines pumped and ready to encourage the crowd with pompoms and megaphones. Then the ultimate eruption of cheers came as the football team came onto the field.
The cheers continued throughout the first quarter and into the second quarter of the game but then I noticed that the hype and positive natures began to dwindle as the gap between winner and loser continued to broaden and BYU continued to…lets just say, play poorly. I can completely understand how the crowd felt as they began to realize that BYU might just get crushed on our own field. I was one of the many, I became very disheartened and began to stand up less and less until I could only sit and watch in mostly silence (an occasional yell that dwindled down to an unearthly gargling). Let me say that I have always heard about how great the BYU student body fan club was, and I have even experienced the great crowd at basketball games but I never realized that they were also capable of the opposite extreme. By the middle of the third quarter there was a mass rush for the exits abandoning our poor team to live out their humiliation alone. Though I was disappointed by this rush, I was disgusted by the reactions of the crowd around me. I personally have never been a huge fan of booing the opposing teams/refs, whatever, but I am slightly more tolerant of it because it is seems to be a widely accepted ritual in sports. I generally prefer to give the opposing team a certain amount of respect regardless of winning or losing status but the crowd was being downright rude.
During the course of the game the opposing team would run their school flags up and down the end zone after each touchdown. During the first half of the game this resulted in general booing from the BYU fans but as we continued to get crushed by Florida State I noticed the crowd become more and more hostile. When one individual nearby me (I never located the person) began to yell “Run fatty, run!” to one of those that carried a flag, I wanted to cower in my seat as if I wasn’t there…actually I really wanted to jump across the wall of fans separating him from me and rip his head off (and I guarantee that I could have, even with one useless arm, if I had found him). This was far beyond the limit of appropriate rival banter. This had nothing to do with the football teams or the game, this was attacking a specific and individual person who has an identity, personality, and certain level of self esteem that would be affected.
Then the crowds anger even turned to the fellow students. By this time, any mistake that our football team made was met with jeers and insults from the crowd, certainly not motivating our team to work harder or do better. At the end of the game the events staff lined up across the end zones. As they walked on, people in the row in front of me began to mock them saying things like, “What are you going to do, keep us from rushing the field?” “Are you going to stop us?” These members of the event staff were students at BYU. They probably had some classes with those that were mocking them. They all took it well ignoring the negative comments or responding good naturedly.
By the end of the evening, though I was very disappointed by our loss, I was extremely peeved at all those that were sitting around me. I didn’t feel like it was a crowd worth a victory. Why waste good effort and skill for a crowd that showed no loyalty? Those fans didn’t have the ability to lose with grace and therefore also lacked the ability to triumph with grace.
With that I shall step down from my soap box. I did, for the most part, enjoy the overall experience of my first football game and I am looking forward to the next home game, (this coming Saturday) hopefully with a more positive outcome…and crowd.

Restless

My restlessness got the better of me this evening and I finally gave in and took a walk. It was about 8:30 when I left, so it was dark and cold outside, which was exactly the way that I wanted it. I am guessing that it was about 15 degrees outside and the sky was clear with only a sliver of the moon, and a handful of the brighter constellations. The moment I stepped outside I could smell the strong scent of wood smoke on the crisp air which pleased me because it reminded me of Alaska, the place I love, though not as genuine. At home when I go outside on this kind of night there is pure silence. The world is cloaked in a heavy blanket of snow and its just me and eternity. The crunch of my own footsteps in the snow is all I can hear and it is then that I can feel most, the presence of a great and glorious being. Though I am a solitary person in the vast wilderness of Alaska I know that I am not alone. This is one of those moments that I enjoy experiencing over and over again. I typically prefer warmer weather but I do enjoy the cold at these times; when the air nips at your cheeks and the cold creates a feeling of refreshment and energy. Because I am not in Alaska right now I didn’t quite get the full effect of the serenity that I was seeking. There were buildings all around me, the headlights of vehicles staring me down, and people coming and going, causing silence to retreat.
During the course of my walk I wanted the chance to think, ponder, and contemplate. It was one of those moments where the core of me wanted enlightenment but I did not know how to seek it, or for what I was searching. My mind seemed to veer away from any deep thought but I was still able to enjoy a peaceful walk in the night. I was able to refresh myself physically and ease my restlessness to an extent, though I still feel a drive to discover.

Obituaries - A Little Early

The semester is quickly coming to a close for which I am very glad and excited. It has been busy the last few weeks, hence the lack of new posts on my blog. For one of my classes I was given an assignment where I was required to write my own obituary and have someone else write one for me too. I had my sister write the second one and I must say she did an excellent job. My Mom even suggested that I save it and use it (with a few minor changes). It was very entertaining to compare the two. I actually found the process quite interesting, and decided to post the results.

Disclaimer: Any names, dates, or places used in the following writing is not based on any real person or event and is purely coincidental.

Obituaries
Monday 17, 2075

We regret to announce the death of Marie Zimpalentikala. She died early Sunday morning after a long battle with bone cancer. Her husband Korben Zimpalentikala preceded her in death in 2072, and they are both outlived by their five sons, three daughters, forty-three grandchildren and six great grandchildren. Marie was first and foremost a mother and wife. She enjoyed raising her children and always teased her husband that they would never have a youngest child. She also had a great bond with each of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren and always called each one on their birthdays, never forgetting one. Though she was 88 she had a very young and adventurous spirit. She was born and raised in rural Alaska and always had the great desire to return there though things never worked out in her favor. She willingly served in the community wherever she could and was known to everyone as a very caring and helpful person. She and her husband also served two missions for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, one mission taking place in Jackson County Missouri, and the other in Spokane Washington. They were preparing to serve another mission that was cancelled after the ailing health of her husband.
She graduated from BYU with a degree in Child Development and used her degree in the work field and at home as a mother. She met Korben during her schooling at BYU and they were married in 2013 and spent a long happy life together. Her family was all around her when she passed away at 4:37 on Sunday morning. The funeral will be held on Wednesday the 19th at 2:00 pm in the Cottage Hill Cemetery. In lieu of flowers donations can be given to the
American Cancer Society.

Marie Garren passed away of natural causes related to age on June 17, 2079. She was born on January 27, 1987. She grew up in Alaska with seven brothers and sisters. She obtained a bachelors degree from Brigham Young University in Child Development in 2012. After serving a year and a half mission in Viña del Mar, Chile, she married Kai Jaxson Garren in the Anchorage, Alaska temple on May 7, 2015. She was a wonderful wife and mother and had ten children of which three were adopted. She went on to obtain a masters degree at BYU in Child Psychology and was instrumental in helping thousands of children throughout her lifetime. She loved music and her family cannot remember a single day of her life when she was not singing. Music was an integral part of her methods when helping at-risk children. She was a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and served a second mission with her husband to Cordoba, Argentina in 2071. She is survived by nine of her children. She was proceeded in death by her husband and her daughter, Jayzen Diane. Her family will miss her sweet and caring spirit as will the many children she nurtured to her dying day. We love you Mom and we can’t wait to see you again in heaven.

Animals and Instinct...or not so much.

What makes each individual animal unique? I have often wondered this when I drive down the roads in Alaska and I see rabbits every few hundred feet moving in and out of the trees, or frozen on the edge of the road. They all look the same, and it is said that animals are driven completely by instinct, an innate sense of survival. Then where does the personality kick in? Animals each have their own spirit, they must have their own unique temperament. What makes one animal do one thing and another do a completely different thing?

We had a cat (technically my sisters, that you may have been introduced to on her blog) named Sahara, and during the years that she lived with us before she moved away with my sister, you could tell she definitely had her own personality. Sahara was very independent, which is pretty typical of most cats but she also had a defiant and mischievious personality. There were times when she would do something just to make us mad, or to get her way. One time when she was still pretty young my sister bought her a kitty collar. We began trying to get her used to it by putting it on her for an hour or so every day. Every time we would put it on she would attempt to get it off by pushing it off with her back legs, most of the time she would fail and just tolerate it, and if she did manage to get it off, someone would put it back on her. One day the collar went missing and when we couldnt find it we thought that we had misplaced it. It wasn't until a few days later that we found it. We found it shoved deep underneath one of the kitchen counters in a little tiny space caused by the overhang at the bottom of the face of one counter connecting to the side of another counter where the two counters met at the corner of the wall. It was pushed in very deep and we realized that Sahara had hidden it back there so that we would not be able to put it on her again.

It was also possible to recognize Sahara's moods. In the mornings usually around 6:00 am Sahara would decide that it was breakfast time. Sadly for us, we considered 6:00 to mean that it was at least two hours until it was time to wake up. When she would wake us up you could tell what mood she was in because she had different methods for each mood. If she was in a good mood waking up was always more pleasant, she would come cuddle up by your head, her purr going full throttle and lick your face until you were awake. On days when she was feeling a little more excited or energetic/mischievious she would run in and scratch the carpet or the bed skirt, which she knew was not allowed, and the moment you sat up in bed she would run out before you could catch her. And then there were her grumpy days. On these days she would come park right on your chest and take a paw and bat at your nose. If she was really grumpy or if you continued to ignore her summons for breakfast, you would begin to feel a slight brushing of her claws until you finally had to give in.

She definitely has a unique personality and if there are those that would say that this is all just a result of instinct then wouldnt it be fair to say that all humans survive completely on instinct also? Is that really all personality is? Is it just instinct that varies from person to person? So how far does it go in regards to rabbits and other wild and tame animals? Are animals personalities just not as broadly varied as peoples? Is their innate sense of survival so much more inbred that the personalities between each animal is much more similar?

If I were able to observe wild animals at length in the wild would I discover that a certain rabbit is more pessimistic than others? Maybe its not really survival of the fittest...maybe it is really survival of the most optimistic. Maybe the rabbit that gets caught by the lynx knew it was coming soon anyway so why waste all the energy running. Its now or later. What if it was a Dudley-Do-Right rabbit who took it for the team? "Go on, save yourself!"

As you can tell I really have little solid evidence, and no research to back up my views, but I am curious to know the answers to these questions all the same.

Attraction! - Male/Female Friendships

I have recently come up with a theory about the relationships between males and females. Not that I have much to base my theory on but a few observations. I know some girls who have a lot of guy friends. When I am at their house there are always different guys coming in and out to visit and hang out. All the girls are single and I began to wonder why, if they were such good friends with all these guys they don’t date any of them. This is when my theory began to form. I have decided that for girls and guys to be friends there has to be some reason that they don’t want to be in a more serious relationship. There has to be some form of attraction between them but for some reason it doesn’t work out. Either one person is attracted to the other but the other person does not return the attraction, or maybe there are circumstances that they both know it will not work out, or some other reason. But attraction is always involved. So then I tried to think of a way that guys and girls might be friends even if they are both unattracted to each other. I couldn’t really think of a scenario that would fit without some sort of attraction. I then asked another girl and her response was “Maybe they like their personality.” That is attraction! So in conclusion (as well as I can conclude) I think that there must be a form of attraction between guys and girls to be friends but also some reason that would cause the friendship to not form a more serious relationship.